27 5 / 2011
The weather was fine, and the ocean was great, and I can’t wait to see you again.
We’ve been out of school for almost a month now. I’ve done absolutely nothing but sit around and watch Grey’s Anatomy, lay out, go to the pool, and spend time with my best friend for life, Becki DeLaRosa. I can say that it took a while to start really missing school. At first, it was fun to be back - to be in familiar territory with old friends. For the first couple of weeks, everyone was home and resting after a hard semester of school, so there was always something to do. Quickly, numbers started to drop as most everyone moved on to the adventures they had planned for the summer. I don’t leave for camp until Tuesday, May 31st, so I still have a few days to go. Now that I’ve begun packing, I have realized that although I had long ago come to terms with the fact that I’d be leaving Raleigh at the end of May, I think I somehow miscommunicated in my brain that leaving didn’t mean going back to Boone. It sounds silly, but I’ve felt for the past few days that summer was coming to an end, when in all reality, it still is just the beginning. Once I leave on Tuesday, there are still two and a half months left of hard work and screaming children to survive before I will be able to return home to Boone. Luckily, Brendan and David are coming up to visit this weekend, and I will surely see Aria before I go. I can predict right now that although I will enjoy every minute I spend with all of them, it will not lessen the blow of leaving with the knowledge that once at camp, my chances of seeing anyone until next year decreases by approximately 98%.
I’ve been sitting in my room looking at pictures from the past year and trying to decide whether or not to rush. While I still haven’t made a definite decision, I do know that I can not imagine having any more fun than I did last year. I can’t imagine more smiles or more laughter or more warm-fuzzies than the ones I was able to experience last year without greek life. I do realize that the benefits that come with being greek are immense, and I hope that I have the resources to participate in rush in the fall, however, I believe with all of my heart that a second year spent with the people I have already come to know will be just as special as a year focused on greek life. I have a wonderful group of friends who, like sisters, will always be there for me whenever I am in need. For that, I am eternally grateful.
I’ve tweeted a lot recently about missing my life at school, missing my social life, and ultimately missing my friends. I feel like I left a part of myself in Boone, and will not truly be whole again until I return. With that in mind, I would like to share what I miss most about my relationship with each of the members of new friends. This should be interesting :)
I haven’t really had the chance to miss Aria too much because we’ve been able to see each other a few times since we’ve been home. I’m sad that it’s going to be a few months until I see her get ridiculously drunk and drop her drink everywhere. We went out a few weeks ago, and she actually handled herself pretty well (please note: I say this with disappointment; sloppy Aria is my favorite Aria). I miss talking shit about people nobody else knows about because at home everyone knows who we’re talking about, and if they don’t, we have nothing bad to say. I also miss days when we’re so high we go to central and eat Chick-fil-A, sushi, and corndogs. Hopefully, I’ll be able to see Aria one weekend this summer. I’d say its more likely that I’d see her than anyone else.
In contrast to not missing Aria that much, I’d say I probably miss Paige the most because she’s the furthest away and we’ve talked the least. I know that Paige has a busy life when she’s home, and it will only get busier when she has to start taking classes on top of working and seeing all of her friends. I’m sure she’s missing us, but I’m also sure that she’s having an excellent summer. What I miss most about Paige is just having her around. When I think about spending time with her, I don’t remember extravagant times doing ridiculous things. For the most part, we’d just hang out and relax with each other. I miss driving around and smoking. I miss watching boys play football outside of App Heights. I miss rallying around Appalachian and celebrating with the rest of the school because we couldn’t stand to not be included in something so exciting. I miss everything that Paige and I have in common and being able to say something ridiculous that she would just smile and understand.
A lot of my memories of Paige are tied with memories of Abby because I spent a lot of time with the two of them together. I miss Abby’s innocence. I miss her genuine kindness and constant smiles. I feel like I am happier when I’m with Abby than I am with other people because she is generally so happy for no specific reason at all. I text her when I’m sad because I know that she will respond with enthusiasm and a lot of exclamation points. I miss coloring with her and “studying” in App Heights or in the library or at Hoey. I miss her dresses and her roommates bed (that became mine for a few nights) and her sleep timer TV. I miss going to parties with her and losing her, but knowing that she’s probably found a new friend or a new place to make her dancing stage.
Of course, I miss Kaleb a lot. I knew I was going to the moment he hugged me goodbye and I literally collapsed in his arms. We spent the majority of the year together. I think I probably saw him every single day. I miss ignoring him when he came to knock on my door. I miss the times he came into my room late at night to recant his night to me (as if I actually cared… just kidding, I really loved it hehe). I miss the times he made me ramen because I was too lazy to do it on my own. I miss whining to him and bickering and knowing that when he called me a bitch, I probably really was being one. I miss his honesty and openness and comfort whenever I needed it. I miss our sleepover on the last night when we ran through all of our memories of the year :( I can’t do this any more or I’m going to start to cry, but it should be painfully obvious how much I miss my best friend.
I spent almost as much time with Brendan last year as I did Kaleb. I may not have seen him every single day, but he was present at every major event and every fun memory throughout the year. I miss smoking and drinking with Brendan because he pushed my limits. I miss football games and Saturday night parties afterwards. I miss playing dizzy bat (except for that one time…) and beer pong. I miss our hiking trips that we definitely need to do more often next year. I miss bitching about bitches and being just as rude to peoples’ faces as we are behind their backs. I miss that although I didn’t always realize that Brendan was paying attention when I talked, he always listened to every word I had to say. God knows it takes a good friend to keep up with how much I talk.
Although I spent just as much time with David as I did with the others, my memories with him are separate from my memories with them. When it comes to David, I miss cuddling and sleeping. I miss the nights when we pulled the mattress off the bed and slept on the floor. I miss watching Grey’s while he slept on my lap. I miss the morning I left when we got breakfast at Melanie’s. I miss inviting people to his apartment so that I could socialize and spend time with him at the same time. I miss knowing that he was always watching me and smiling. I miss the relationship we used to have before everything became way too damn complicated for its own good.
I love everyone with all of my heart and can not wait for the days we can sit around and talk with a drink in one hand and a piece circling the room. I consider us incredibly lucky to have the group of friends that we do, and I hope that nothing will ever tear us apart. Love love love to all, and lots of hugs and kisses :)
